Note 2
"Spotify Whore"
Romanticism can only be done with the right song and the right setting. Music is one of the most common ways of self expression. Even if it’s not you’re voice, the artist you listen to seems to depict every little thought you’ve ever had, making it hard to believe you’ve ever had an original experience.
Note 2 of Notes of Invisible ink: Explaining my specific playlists.
I don’t remember the first time I created a playlist. Like most teenagers, Spotify and I are attached at the hip and quite frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve used music as an escape for years, blasting the volume of whatever song I was playlist so loud that I wouldn’t even be able to hear my own thoughts. Through the years, I’ve deleted playlists, restarted my entire spotify profile, discovered my arists, and found new favorite songs.
You want a playlist for every mood. For me, I’m basically in the same mood every single day so my playlists are one giant rotation of all the same songs except for a few anomalies. I tend to listen to songs for the lyrics, hence why most of my songs are sadder or more lyrical instead of beat heavy.
Without further ado!
SPOTIFY TOUR: (Playlist title + 5 songs)
Peace by Taylor Swift
Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant
Nothing New (feat. Phoebe Bridgers) by Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers
Starstudded by Malcolm Todd
Let it Happen by Gracie Abrams
The Prophecy by Taylor Swift
Because it’s the New Year, why not start with this. The title, self explanatory. I made this on the 27th of December while frantically making my mood boards and crafting new year resolutions. My life has been full of drama, always. I get caught up with bad people, wrong place wrong time, just plain unlucky. Peace is me manifesting a calm year. Cigarette Daydreams is just a feel good song, and because I turned 17 last year, I can finally use the lyric “You were only 17” and it’ll be my go to hype song of the year. Nothing New is basically me giving up on the idea of anything in my life actually changing though. That everything that happens to me is something 'I’m used to, and if my year ends in shambles, I won’t be surprised. Starstudded similar to Cigarette Daydreams is a feel good song. I’ve placed them sporadically throughout my playlist to make sure I’m not setting myself up for complete failure. Let it Happen is my song of nonchalance. I tend to put 100 and 10% of my energy into every single person and I’m determined not to do that this year because I’ve been taken advantage of several times. My 2025 mantra is “Whatever happens, I’m letting it” and lastly The Prophecy is a song that really resonates with me because like I’ve mentioned, the years feel repetitive. The beginning starts off great, but by the end I’m either so alone that I can barely think straight or I’m surrounded by horrible people. This song is my heavy reminder that I’m hoping things change this year, despite my contradictory statement for Nothing New.
I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers
Big Star by Lorde
The Gold by Phoebe Bridgers
Right Now by Gracie Abrams
Pain is Cold Water by Noah Kahan
This playlist’s title is taken from the first song because this entire playlist is all about my room. Being alone, simmering in my thoughts, the perfect sad and reflecting songs. I tend to stay home quite often, and really enjoy it because then I get to do everything I love: write, read, post of Substack, watch TV. I Know The End for me personally is a song that just sounds really very much like what my head sounds like. The lyric “No I’m not afraid to disappear” really sticks out to me because every time I do try and get off my phone, I get horrendous FOMO (fear of missing out) and then in addition to that, the vocals at the end of the song are just so loud and sort of carry me through as if I’m looking at my own thoughts in 3rd person. It’s hard to explain, but it’s one of my favorite songs by Phoebe. Big Star is a song that I listen to usually at the end of a tiring day. It’s a kind of reset song, the lyric “But every perfect summer’s gotta say goodnight” really encapsulates that saying that even the season, even if you’ve had a perfect day, it ends and you get to restart. The Gold is a cover by Phoebe and I really just love the instruments. The song sort of reminds me of self depreciation. Although I know it’s not her song, I love her version because the way she sings it is haunting and raw. The song just reminds me of not wanting to be in whatever situation you’re in, a song to listen to when you need to zone out for a while. Right Now is one of my favorite songs in general but for the sake of this playlist, the song is all about wanting to be home. For me personally, my home has always felt like it’s America, even though I live in Thailand. And this song just reminds me more of how much I feel alienated here, and that my room is the only place I truly feel at home in this country. This song also talks heavily about being a homebody, quiet, introverted. Whenever I listen to this song, I’m just reminded of the fact that I feel whole heartedly myself when I’m in my safe little bubble inside my room. Pain Is Cold Water is forever the song about being alone. It puts into words how it feels to be the floater friend, to always be excluded, to want to leave the place you’re in so badly. How people have stigmatized being alone so bad that now every time I’m wanting to do things, I force myself to ask people if they can come along because I’m scared to be by myself.
Long Sleeves by Gracie Abrams
Block Me Out by Gracie Abrams
Beige by Yoke Lore
All Too Well (Sad Girl Autumn Version) - Recorded at Long Pond Studios by Taylor Swift
Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls
This technically speaking was my November playlist, but I listened to it year around. It’s the bittersweet home-y feeling you get during fall except I wasn’t feeling it because I live in Southeast Asia and was too busy cramming for my SATs. Long Sleeves to me is a song all about self worth, self hatred, internal struggles with toxic relationships. The ending signifies coming to terms with yourself. A cry for help, finally being able to release all the anxiety, stress, anger, bitterness. Block Me Out is my favorite song by Gracie Abrams (are we seeing a pattern). Similarly, this song also focuses heavily on self hate, talking about how the one person to constantly disappoint yourself is you. Having walls up so high tht you’re only allowed to really let yourself fell when you’re alone because you’re afraid. Having thoughts so loud that you don’t feel in control. “I think I’m burning alive but nobody sees the fire” is my favorite lyric Gracie’s every written because for years, I would ask and silently beg for someone to notice how badly I was struggling. To this day, people don’t know unless I make it obvious or tell the outright. It just reminds me of fending yourself, trying to preserve the good you have left but unable to stop getting into these horrible situations. Beige is a song I discovered early this year, a sort-of-feel-good-sort-of-not song. All about love, trusting someone and discovering who you are. To me the song is a wishful song about finding love, finding the connection you desire. The intimacy of knowing someone on every level inside and out. All Too Well (SGAVRALPS) is the best rendition of All too well in my opinion. We all know the song. Right person wrong time, naivety, bad judge of character. Not much to explain, it’s just a really autumnal and sad song. Iris is my favorite romance song. It’s been one of my favorite songs for years and it’s just the perfect all consuming and whole hearted love that I hope to experience. Being so caught up in someone that you want them for yourself, having everything so perfect and only caring about that one person. “And you bleed just to know you’re alive” speaks volumes to be honest. It’s one of my favorite lyrics along with “The closest to heaven that I’ll ever be” just loving someone that much.
Ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine
This City by Sam Fischer
The Giver by Sara Kinsley
Hard To Sleep by Gracie Abrams
loml by Taylor Swift
If you can’t tell by the two characters on the playlist cover, something’s wrong. This playlist is a ‘right person wrong time’ playlist I made during the midst of a very anti climactic breakup. The title comes from August by Taylor Swift, the blue print right person wrong time song, but I’ve decided on five other songs since that one’s pretty self explanatory and not very personal to me because it definitely wasn’t a wrong time kind of breakup. Ceilings is all about reflecting on a relationship. Reminiscing on the good things and them remembering why all your memories are hazy and clouded by the negatives. “My shoes are now full of water” is the perfect example of that transition. This City is a song that is very personal to me. It’s a song about moving away from a relationship, being surrounded by heartbreak and having reminders of a person in the place you’re in. This song to me is about feeling out of place, I tend to relate breakup songs to friendships since I’m much more experienced in that department and this reminds me of seeing people you have bad.traumatic falling outs with and having to pretend that everything’s fine. The Giver is a song that I listened to very heavily a few years back. It’s about giving and giving and giving. Handing things out that mean a lot to you, love, lust, care, tenderness. And not receiving anything back. Loving someone but having to force yourself to believe that they love you too. Being so desperate for that human connection that you’re willing to give up every morsel of yourself. Hard To Sleep is another favorite of mine. Being surrounded by things that make your thoughts spin, being caught in uncomfortable situations and overthinking everything to the point of feeling out of body. “I’m so scared of losing all control” is a lyric that puts that into place. When you’re alone and trying to remember every single thing you’ve ever said aloud and how you wish you could be like ever other person. This song is one I listen to when I actually can’t sleep because the lyrics actually calm me down. “Hard to sleep, could it be, only me, only me?” is the repeating lyric at the end of the song that basically says don’t overthink. At the end of the day you’re human, you will make mistakes and if you think over every mistake you’ve made, you would never get a blink of sleep. loml is all about having a beautiful relationship but then it all crumbles and not really getting closure to confirm how exactly it ended. As I said before, I tend to relate breakup songs to friendships and this song really just reminds me of how sometimes at the start of a friendship you think that it’s going to be a friendship for life. That you’ve found your twin flame. But then in the blink of an eye, it goes to shit and everything goes wrong. It switches every gear in your brain and just completely flips the narrative about what you thought you knew. To go through so much turmoil yet have the relationship just so simply.
And that concludes Note 2 of Notes of Invisible Ink! I’m currently working to find artists because I really hope this can one day be a physical or online zine. I hope these playlists gave you some inspiration to make your own. Music is a great way to release stress, or any emotion really and it’s so fun to make playlist. Totally feel free to drop your favorite songs, artists, playlists in the comments!! I appreciate any and all feedback, likes, shares. My one goal with all of this is to make just one person feel less alone.
Socials will be linked below, my dms always always open.
Take a breath and love always,
Ellie
NOTES OF INVISIBLE INK
socials:
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💌 email
💌 spotify
